Tails From The Zoo

Fun Zoo Jokes October 12, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Scott Gray @ 2:42 pm

Who says a Blog is supposed to be boring!? I’ve gathered a number of great one-liners, funny knock-knocks and gut-busting jokes from various sources so let’s enjoy Canadian Thanksgiving with a few laughs. Enjoy…!

  • A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, “How high do you think they ll go?” The kangaroo said, “At least a hundred feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!”
  • One day the zookeeper noticed that the orang-utan was reading two books — the Bible and Darwin’s Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, “Why are you reading both those books?” “Well,” said the orang-utang, “I just wanted to know if I was my brother’s keeper or my keeper’s brother.”

  • The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: “I would like to place an order for two mongooses, to be delivered at your earliest convenience.” He stared at the screen, focusing on that odd word mongooses. Then he deleted the word and added another, so that the sentence now read: “I would like to place an order for two mongeese, to be delivered at your earliest convenience.” Again he stared at the screen, this time focusing on the new word, which seemed just as odd as the original one. Finally, he deleted the whole sentence and started all over. “Everyone knows no full-stocked zoo should be without a mongoose,” he typed. “Please send us two of them.”
  • What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses? Nothing, he didn’t recognize them!

  • I was in the zoo last week. Really? Which cage were you in?
  • I took my son to the zoo yesterday. Really, did they accept him?
  • Jim: “Come on, Fred, I’ll take you to the zoo.” Fred: “If the zoo wants me, let them come and get me!”
  • Caller: “Finally! I got through! I’ve been trying to call the zoo for hours!” Zookeeper: “Yes, all our lions were busy!”.
  • Zoo Keeper: “I’ve lost one of my elephants”. Other Zoo Keeper: “Why don’t you put an advert in the paper?”. Zoo Keeper: “Don’t be silly, he can’t read!”

  • Why are giraffes so slow to apologize? It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
  • What do you call a gorilla wearing ear muffs? Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
  • What do gorillas eat for lunch? A go-rilled cheese …
  • Where do Superman’s goldfish live? In the super bowl
  • How do you know there are two elephants in your fridge? The door won’t close
  • How many giraffes can you fit in a refrigerator? None, the elephants are in there!
The following jokes are courtesy of the Bristol Zoo:
  • What do you get if you cross an elephant with a goldfish?

Swimming Trunks!

  • What should you do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else!

  • What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?

A woolly jumper!

  • What does a spider do when he gets angry?

He goes up the wall!

  • What kind of noise annoys an oyster?

A noisy noise annoys an oyster!


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